Ever feel extra attached to your rainbow for fear that it might be your last day together?
Today is one of those days for me.
Yea, I am that freak of a BLM that constantly checks to see if her baby is breathing, kisses and tells her baby "I love you" every hour, and protects her with every thing I have. But this time around in motherhood I don't care what people think about that.
Today it's worse. I find myself staring at her to burn her sweet face into my memory. I'm trying to recall every moment today to retrieve for my "happy" memories later. Begging for the moment to never end.
To know what it's like to loose a baby is gut wrenching but allow it to play out in your living children is disturbing. I hate that I think this way but I'm afraid if I don't I'm going to take my girls for granted.
I don't want to die with regrets.
My family is my world.
Holding moments and memories close to my heart and clinging to hope.