Today was the day that I turned the corner in the mausoleum and saw it. I saw mine and Lucas’ name on the wall. Initially my heart dropped, then immediately following, my eyes welled up with tears of happiness. I never thought I would be excited and happy to see my name on my crypt before I needed it. However, when you bury your own child, I think things change. This was something I always said I would never do. That is why it took a little bit before we went into the cemetery office to make the request and pay for it. Now I am glad we made the decision. We wanted our names up so that Sam wasn’t alone, even if ours are empty, our names are right next to his. His name no longer seem to be alone amongst a bunch of strangers; his name is accompanied by his mommy and daddy’s. I know this may sound strange or weird to many people; but I know many bereaved parents would eel the same as me and smile when they see their crypt next to their child. I now know that I will be with my baby again.
I am filled with peace and happiness now that it is official my baby doesn’t have to be alone, even if it is just my name on the wall. For what ever reason it was this brought tears of happiness and a smile to my face.