Sam is an angel that was brought into my life. Here is our journey back home...

Sam is an angel that was brought into my life. Here is our journey back home...

Saturday, September 8, 2012



Just the word alone has really been bothering me lately. I think it is more the plural part of it more than anything. After Sam passed away I would say "kids" in conversations, get that puzzled look from people as they glance over at the only "kid" standing near me. That usually was my cue to either tell Sam's story or interject his name.

Now there's no explaining to be had.

I say the word "kids" and people can undoubtedly agree, "yes, kids".
I don't like it.
I miss the opportunities to tell my son's story and spread awareness about stillbirth.

I find myself using the phrase, "the girls" more lately. To me, this is a way of not forgetting to include same in my "kids" ratio while still referring to my only living kids. 

Do you ever think about that? Think, that one small word could rock someone's world and send them into a valley of grief or anger?

Who know such a stupid word would bother me so much. Maybe there will be a day that I won't think of it that way. Maybe there will be a day that I don't have to feel the need to tell Sam's story to the world (i doubt that will ever happen). Maybe people will hear me when I say kids and know that I am including Sam into the factor.

I could always talk to people about my THREE kids...

Until then, my girls and I know who's missing from the kids in our family.


  1. You know, even tho Josh is my only earthly kids I still say's hard not to. You will always have 3 kids...always. Love to you momma! And love the pic of your girls!

    1. Good for you Mary. You should say kids, because that's just what you have, kidS. I would be the same way if V wasn't here and only M was; I would say kids wether Sam is here or not. :-)