Sam is an angel that was brought into my life. Here is our journey back home...

Sam is an angel that was brought into my life. Here is our journey back home...

Sunday, January 22, 2012


I have support around me that is nothing short of amazing! The group at work that gets together to brighten or shed a glimpse of hope every week has yet again shown me how absolutely amazing they are. The pooled their money together to get me this custom necklace from Jewel Kade. Feel free it Pin It. 

This was a gift that was given out of the kindness of their hearts. Not because they felt obligated to give me something or because they felt sorry for me. They gave because they truly care. 

I often wonder what it would be like without my support group at work. Work, the place I have to go to everyday and put on a smiling face for staff and students who are blind to the pain I feel every second of every day. How do people survive? I hear horror stories of people that have been asked to remove their baby's pictures from their desk because it makes other uncomfortable. Or a workplace that didn't even acknowledge the loss by mailing a simple card. 

My husband is one of those people. He has no support at work what so ever. Here we are over eight months out from loosing Sam and he still is having to explain Sam's absence to employee's. It makes me sick that coorporate assholes care for nothing but their own profits. Now don't get me wrong, Lucas' direct boss is great, in his own way but anyone else there is just beyond shitty. 

Think about it, there are women who are dealing with the same thing. Not that men should have discredited grief by any means. We don't even have a right to take a leave of absence in Illinois because our baby has died. What type of shit is that? 

I makes me sad to know my husband os one of the people going at this grief journey with one less support group at his side and he is not the only one. Man, that fires me up. Make me want to do something. Sam's Promise.

All in all I  am able to clearly see how grateful I am for the support system I have. Without it I would crumble. 

So thank you "Tommy's group" you are my rock! 


So, I can't mention one cool necklace with out mentioning my other awesome surprise. My parents got my this amazing necklace that I have been eyeballing since Fran posted about it a few months back. The necklace is from Sue Ella Signatures. It is again, nothing short of amazing. She did an outstanding job fitting everything I wanted on it. If you look closely you will see Sam's hand and foot prints along with his name at the bottom. Those are his actually prints, not actually size-come on he was full term but we sent over a scanned copy of his prints and she used those to make them.

Now I have two beautiful necklaces to remind myself of my little boy and a way to have him with me where ever I go. These things mean the world to me. 

Thank you mom and dad.


On a side note....I had a student ask me for the first time about Sam. There was two girl students who asked about my tattoo's. I told them they were for my children. They asked how old they were, I told them "my daughter is 3.5  and my son passed away in May". They were of course surprised by my response. They were not expecting me to say what I had to say about my child. They did go on to ask how he died. I told them, "I don't know why." I tried to stay true to Sam and myself. They and I were saved by the bell after that. They were sympathetic and saddened to hear the news as I was to share it. This was the first I talked about Sam to any of my students, no one has ever asked. I don't expect them to, they are junior high students. 

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